Project Description
Parenting
Parenting – They say two’s better than one. In the case of child rearing it is a case many argue for and against. One parent is said to be able to manage the role of two. But, is this really true or have we become adept or comfortable with the new ‘norm’ of single parenting?
A single parent means there’s an absent parent. An absent parent is a parent who isn’t living in the same home as their child, sometimes parents split the week in two and share the load equally. This is the best situation you can have if both parents have split up but can still be adult enough to allow, (as much as humanly possible) their children to get the best of both worlds.
Love from both parents is a win-win situation for the child, of course an ideal situation is for the parents to stay together but we all know too well, this isn’t always a viable option. It well known that there are scenarios where parents do stay together for the sake of the children and/or financial stability. There are of course consequences for any parents attempting to cover up a broken down relationship.
Playing pretend-happy families isn’t a game one should commit to, as the long-term affects it has on children who become wise to the cover-up, becomes apparent very soon into Teendom or even earlier in many cases. What we try to hide becomes our deceit, that deceit becomes a trait children learn from us parents, our young all too easily copy and perfect later in life.
So, what can you do when faced with a partner who has hurt you beyond repair? The answer is complex and involves a deeper look into what can be salvaged in the relationship in order to provide some sort of link between you both and the whoever is in-between (i.e. your children). If two adults cannot come to an agreement and see runaway or ignoring the other parent as a viable solution then time will tell all and who will suffer.
Of course, there are times when abuse or an abuse of power has taken place and children have been used to hurt a partner in an effort to claim retribution or because one has lost control. In these circumstances, it is completely understandable for a parent to cut all ties, especially if it endangers the safety and/or security of the child. When this happens one parent becomes absent from the home although hopefully, not also absent from the child’s life.
Under these circumstances, the Court system has been known to fail children, as it is also made up of humans who make decisions based on their own stereotypes and even with all the facts, still decide to use their own prejudice to be the vindicator of decisions. Sometimes judges get it right, sometimes wrong, when they get it wrong the children. The effects on children turn adults are long term. So, here we have it, an absent parent – mum or dad (in most cases its the dad).
